You should enjoy this...
David Cameron was visiting a Glasgow primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr Cameron if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'. So, our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'.
A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.' - 'Incorrect,' said Cameron. 'That would be an accident.'
A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.' - 'I'm afraid not', explained Cameron, 'that's what we would refer to as a great loss'.
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Cameron searched the room.
'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'
Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand and said:
'If a plane carrying you and Mr. Clegg and Mr. Milliband was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would certainly be a tragedy.'
'Fantastic' exclaimed Cameron, 'and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'
'Well', said Johnny, 'it has to be a tragedy - because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a f-----g accident either!'
Hospital condition check....
A 75 Year Old Lady rings her local NHS hospital and this conversation follows:
'Hello I'd like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree.
She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her condition has deteriorated, stabilised or improved?'
'Do you know which ward she is in?'
'Yes, ward P, room 2B'
'I'll just put you through to the nurse station.'....
'Hello, ward P, how can I help?'
'I would just like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree, I was wondering if her condition had deteriorated, stabilised or improved?'
'I'll just check her notes……
I'm pleased to say that Mrs Tiptree's conditioned has improved. She has regained her appetite, her temperature has steadied and after some routine checks tonight, she should be well enough to go home tomorrow.'
'Oh that's wonderful news, I'm so happy, thank you ever so much!'
'You seem very relieved, are you a close friend or relative?'
' No, I'm Mrs Tiptree in room 2b. Nobody tells you anything in here! ’
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-glazed, energy-efficient kind.
Today I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Helloooo..... just because I'm blondish doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year.... that these windows would pay for themselves in a year. It's been a year so they're paid for, I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.
Newly restored down in New Zealand and flown this year - this Mossie is a joy to watch. The clip includes an Avro Anson which is the first aircraft I ever flew in back in 1958 at Northolt, west London when it was already about 30 years old.