What an amazing weekend but just where did all the time go?
FIFTY years... there was a time when I thought I wouldn't even live that long but then that was looking up the tunnel when all the lights seemed so very far away. Now, looking back, I cannot see the lights at all. But I can feel the years. But most of all the people.
And so it was this September. It started on the very day that 50 years ago Janet and I said the words, signed the book, drank the toast. And, as we seem to have continued to do, ate the cake. Then it was a Saturday, now it was a Friday.
We arrived at daughter Kate and Julian's lovely cottage home in quaint Dunmow. Senior grandson James was on hand. And already arrived was daughter Sarah with husband, Pat and their daughters Martha and Molly. The venue chose itself on charm and location - around the mid-point for a lot of people.
Soon we had collected 1964's matron of honour, Janet's sister Pat and her husband Frank from a glass of Pernod downtown to join us for dinner. And as we sat to dine a neat and charming moment - sister Pat's daughter Sue and the youngest guest at our wedding 50 years ago, telephoned from Turkey to wish us a happy anniversary.
Then came the party - brilliantly arranged by Kate and Sarah and co and hosted by Kate and Julian. True Janet had been cajoled into making the familiy's so traditional sausage pie and things to add to the table but it was groaning anyway. Cakes have been present throughout the family celebrations and this time, to meet the allergies and such of an older generation the girls assembled a tower of cakes to meet all seasons and Sarah produced an amazing 'celebration cake' of gluten free and sugar free base topped by definitely not sugar free glazed fruits.
The wine flowed, the words tumbled unsteadily if readily from mois, there seemed enough laughter to ensure proper digestion of the array of comestibles and all assured they had a good time.
Thing is I didn't prep much on the words so when I realised that the glue that had held Janet and I together was effectively present or represented by those in front of me it was a bit of a rubicon moment. Looking ahead to this anniversary, Janet and I were in no doubt that we had never envisaged getting through five decades together. Five weeks seemed a long time in '64. Lethargy, we wondered? No time for that - by '66 Sarah had arrived, followed in '69 by Kate. Close family matters much - my younger brother Roger had been best man and was there for the 50th. So too and by a toughish journey for his years, older brother Nick and his wife Jan and their daughter, Carol. And of course Janet's dear sister Pat and husband Frank, another tough effort in the circumstances.
Work and family meant we were gathering friends about us. Only one of mine (ours) from that era have made it all the way, but Janet's school friend Pat Giles (nee Roberts) was at the do and was at our wedding! But contact was maintained for a long time with others and some cards arrived. But the 70s in Wales produced fruitful outcome - Ian Kenvyn of Caerphilly and Cardiff, then Keighley and Leeds came to the anniversary and we have distantly shared our lives since '76. Indeed he cleverly later married a charming lass (Claire) from, you guessed it, Norfolk! Cards and wishes from Cornwall meant Chrissie Webb from Cardiff and from Aberystwyth and Bronwen, a Penarth pal. By the late '70s we were back in the south-east and Ken and Sandra Edwards from Harlow via Bollington, Cheshire made our day by travelling down. A shorter journey brought Rosie Laurie from our Bishops Stortford days, and others were simply not available on the day.
Distance is always a bar to maintaining friends so that those garnered in our Devon excursion are merely digital enhancements today. And the same applies to my Internet days in Cambridge. But our time in Norfolk, including Janet's years working here, have produced yet more friends and Sue Burton, our nearest (dearest?) neighbour joined us along with Graham Howes and Jane Wood, partners in the business of travelling after being across-the-road neighbours. We meet up in France and Spain on our travels and they drift in to see us in the summer here - thus around for our big day.
And then, late in the day 'cos he is still a working journalist, arrived John Perfect, now of Essex but in the 60s a trainee in Kent to whom we gave our all. Well, a few tips to start him off.
I must have missed some but the point I made on the day and repeat now and to which Janet gladly concurs is that if we ever have to answer that hack's fall-back question about what we credit for our long marriage we won't say lamely "Give and take luv, give and take".
We shall say it's the fondness of family and friends that is the glue that binds the bonds we sign up to when we start out.
And now, noticing there is some light way back there that has kept us on the same path, I shall say what I said on the day - thanks Janet for I surely didn't know I had it in me!
And thanks to all the family and friends - for their efforts to give us a day to remember, for their kind thoughts, their gentle affections and most off all, for thinking of us in our hour of need.
Now, Janet, have you got that solicitors number by you...
And so it was this September. It started on the very day that 50 years ago Janet and I said the words, signed the book, drank the toast. And, as we seem to have continued to do, ate the cake. Then it was a Saturday, now it was a Friday.
We arrived at daughter Kate and Julian's lovely cottage home in quaint Dunmow. Senior grandson James was on hand. And already arrived was daughter Sarah with husband, Pat and their daughters Martha and Molly. The venue chose itself on charm and location - around the mid-point for a lot of people.
Soon we had collected 1964's matron of honour, Janet's sister Pat and her husband Frank from a glass of Pernod downtown to join us for dinner. And as we sat to dine a neat and charming moment - sister Pat's daughter Sue and the youngest guest at our wedding 50 years ago, telephoned from Turkey to wish us a happy anniversary.
Then came the party - brilliantly arranged by Kate and Sarah and co and hosted by Kate and Julian. True Janet had been cajoled into making the familiy's so traditional sausage pie and things to add to the table but it was groaning anyway. Cakes have been present throughout the family celebrations and this time, to meet the allergies and such of an older generation the girls assembled a tower of cakes to meet all seasons and Sarah produced an amazing 'celebration cake' of gluten free and sugar free base topped by definitely not sugar free glazed fruits.
The wine flowed, the words tumbled unsteadily if readily from mois, there seemed enough laughter to ensure proper digestion of the array of comestibles and all assured they had a good time.
Thing is I didn't prep much on the words so when I realised that the glue that had held Janet and I together was effectively present or represented by those in front of me it was a bit of a rubicon moment. Looking ahead to this anniversary, Janet and I were in no doubt that we had never envisaged getting through five decades together. Five weeks seemed a long time in '64. Lethargy, we wondered? No time for that - by '66 Sarah had arrived, followed in '69 by Kate. Close family matters much - my younger brother Roger had been best man and was there for the 50th. So too and by a toughish journey for his years, older brother Nick and his wife Jan and their daughter, Carol. And of course Janet's dear sister Pat and husband Frank, another tough effort in the circumstances.
Work and family meant we were gathering friends about us. Only one of mine (ours) from that era have made it all the way, but Janet's school friend Pat Giles (nee Roberts) was at the do and was at our wedding! But contact was maintained for a long time with others and some cards arrived. But the 70s in Wales produced fruitful outcome - Ian Kenvyn of Caerphilly and Cardiff, then Keighley and Leeds came to the anniversary and we have distantly shared our lives since '76. Indeed he cleverly later married a charming lass (Claire) from, you guessed it, Norfolk! Cards and wishes from Cornwall meant Chrissie Webb from Cardiff and from Aberystwyth and Bronwen, a Penarth pal. By the late '70s we were back in the south-east and Ken and Sandra Edwards from Harlow via Bollington, Cheshire made our day by travelling down. A shorter journey brought Rosie Laurie from our Bishops Stortford days, and others were simply not available on the day.
Distance is always a bar to maintaining friends so that those garnered in our Devon excursion are merely digital enhancements today. And the same applies to my Internet days in Cambridge. But our time in Norfolk, including Janet's years working here, have produced yet more friends and Sue Burton, our nearest (dearest?) neighbour joined us along with Graham Howes and Jane Wood, partners in the business of travelling after being across-the-road neighbours. We meet up in France and Spain on our travels and they drift in to see us in the summer here - thus around for our big day.
And then, late in the day 'cos he is still a working journalist, arrived John Perfect, now of Essex but in the 60s a trainee in Kent to whom we gave our all. Well, a few tips to start him off.
I must have missed some but the point I made on the day and repeat now and to which Janet gladly concurs is that if we ever have to answer that hack's fall-back question about what we credit for our long marriage we won't say lamely "Give and take luv, give and take".
We shall say it's the fondness of family and friends that is the glue that binds the bonds we sign up to when we start out.
And now, noticing there is some light way back there that has kept us on the same path, I shall say what I said on the day - thanks Janet for I surely didn't know I had it in me!
And thanks to all the family and friends - for their efforts to give us a day to remember, for their kind thoughts, their gentle affections and most off all, for thinking of us in our hour of need.
Now, Janet, have you got that solicitors number by you...